How to Do Taxes: A Guide for the Average Human

Ah, taxes. That time of the year when everyone, from your overly-organized coworker to your scatterbrained neighbor, is scrambling to find receipts, documents, and their last shred of sanity. If you’ve ever found yourself staring at a tax form like it’s written in an ancient, forgotten language, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Let’s break this down in a way that *might* actually make sense — and give you a laugh along the way.

First things first: no one does their taxes early. You have months before the deadline, right? That’s plenty of time to binge-watch another series, reorganize your spice rack, or take up knitting. Just remember, putting it off will only make the process feel *more* fun when you eventually tackle it the night before it’s due.

Okay, now it's time to start. By “start,” I mean finding all the forms, documents, and pay stubs that have been strewn around your house. The IRS expects you to gather stuff like W-2s, 1099s, and receipts for things you totally forgot you bought (who knew that indoor herb garden was tax-deductible?).

This part is where you get to act like a detective. Is that envelope in the junk drawer important? Did you throw out something crucial during that “New Year, New You” cleaning spree? Time to play a riveting game of *Where's My W-2?* (Spoiler alert: It’s in the glove compartment next to those stale fries.)

Now that you’ve gathered a mountain of confusing papers, it’s time to pick how you’re going to file your taxes. You’ve got a few options:

• DIY with Software: Perfect for people who enjoy pretending they understand what the terms “deductions” and “exemptions” mean. Also good if you want to see your soul leave your body after clicking the “calculate” button.
• Hire a Professional: This is for those of us who would rather pay someone else to handle this adulting nightmare. Hand over the chaos and let them work their magic. Pro tip: bring coffee. They deserve it.
• Paper Filing: If you love the thrill of doing things *the old-fashioned way* and enjoy the smell of printer ink, this one's for you. Just don’t forget to mail it in on time (you might want to practice your sprint to the post office now).

This is where things get *exciting* (if your idea of excitement is deciphering tax code). You get to deduct things like:

• Student loan interest (because let’s face it, you’re still paying for that degree in “General Studies”).
• Charitable donations (like that time you donated your old mattress, which definitely wasn’t a trampoline for your cat).
• Home office expenses (your kitchen table counts, right?).

Basically, if there’s a chance something in your life has a dollar sign attached to it, Google whether or not it’s deductible. It might just save you a few bucks.

After all that effort, it’s time to submit your taxes and cross your fingers for a sweet, sweet refund. Or, if you're not so lucky, you’ll find out you owe the government some extra cash. Yay!

If you do get a refund, the responsible thing would be to save or invest it. But who are we kidding? You’ve been eyeing that fancy air fryer for months now. You’ve earned it.

After you finish this year’s taxes, take a deep breath and promise yourself you'll be more organized next time. But let’s be real: you’ll probably still be searching for your receipts in the glove compartment, muttering to yourself next April. And that’s okay. You’ve mastered the art of doing taxes — the common person’s way.

Now go treat yourself to that air fryer, tax champ!